Calvin, the Pirates, and the Homicidal Maniac: 1
by Mugiwara Gorillaz
Summary: Calvin discovers the series called One Piece and the graphic novel Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. He decides to visit the Straw Hat Pirates, taking Hobbes with him. He ends up eating a Devil Fruit, and adventure, not to mention comedy, ensues. Dead fic now. : (
1. The Start of Something Great

**_I don't own Calvin, Hobbes, One Piece, or anyone/thing related. Bill Watterson owns Calvin and Hobbes, Eiichiro Oda owns One Piece, _****_and Jhonen Vasquez owns Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee!, and Invader Zim, and all related_****_ characters and place(s)._**

_Alright, let's try this thing again..._

It is said that imagination is a wonderful thing, but sometimes it can run away with you. Such was the case with a 6-year-old boy by the name of Calvin. He lived somewhere in the United States with his parents. He was known for getting in trouble, but he wasn't always to blame. In fact, Calvin has always claimed it was out of his control, usually putting the blame on his stuffed tiger, Hobbes. Many people think Hobbes is Calvin's imaginary friend, but if that was true, _then why would Calvin be arguing with Hobbes?_ Imaginary friends are made so kids have someone to agree with them.

The answer is simple. Calvin sees things that others don't. But he's not crazy! One time, Hobbes supposedly tied Calvin to a chair at the boy's request. Calvin couldn't get out, so his father had to untie him. The question is, how did Calvin get stuck that way if Hobbes isn't real? IS he real? Maybe...

Well, if he wasn't real before, he would be quite soon. Soon, something would happen to change the companions' lives...

But first, let's see how the whole thing got started.

* * *

It all started when Calvin was taken to a book store known as Farmer & Valiant. You see, anyone who knew Calvin would know that he loved comic books, and while Calvin was at school, he overheard someone talking about an excellent comic book series called One Piece, as well as a graphic novel called Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. He decided to check them out.

Soon, he was directed to the Manga section, wherein he found One Piece. Now, Calvin wasn't an average child, but _like_ the average child, he found something interesting. He felt that he _had_ to find out more about this.

The same thing happened when he found and read Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, or JTHM for short, only this comic was a lot more, well...dark. Of course, this was nothing new to Calvin: he read comic books with content just as bad as what was in JTHM, perhaps even worse! Still, something about this particular comic book was interesting to Calvin; he couldn't put his finger on what. Was it the method to the madness of the main character, Johnny C? Was it the author's drawing style? Was it the dark humor?

Whatever the reason, Calvin now had two new favorites, and soon, he discovered more about the comics via the internet on the computers at the library.

This was the start of something extraordinary...

* * *

Many days later...

Calvin had just gotten off of the bus after ANOTHER disastrous day at school. Imaginative though he was, he wasn't a very cooperative student.

_Well,_ Calvin thought, _at least I'm home. Now I can read some more One Piece._ He grimaced as another thought entered his mind. _Sheesh, I'd **really** appreciate it if Miss Wormwood would leave me **alone.**_

He walked up to the door, wondering if this day could get any worse...

"I'M HOOOME!" Calvin shouted as he opened the door.

**KAPOOOOOWWW!**

Suddenly, an orange and black blur flew at Calvin, sending the both of them flying across the street! They skidded to a halt and the orange-and-black creature got up. It was Hobbes, giving Calvin the usual greeting.

"Whoa!" the tiger exclaimed, "That's gotta be a new record!"

Calvin groggily got up, shaking his head. "Next time," Calvin muttered, "I'll have a tiger trap ready and waiting."

As they got into the house, Calvin's mother gave her son a surprised look and asked, "What on earth happened to you?"

"Let's just say," Calvin replied, "that sometimes I wish I had an ordinary tabby cat and not a tiger."

When the friends got up to Calvin's room, the boy asked, "Why do you do that all the time?"

Hobbes grinned. "I dunno," he said, "Tiger's instinct, I suppose. I can't suppress it!"

Calvin groaned. Then he decided to change the subject. He reached into his backpack and pulled out a book.

"What's that?" asked Hobbes.

"It's part of an awesome book series called One Piece," Calvin explained, "It's about this guy who ate a weird fruit and got a rubber body!" He read the back cover's summary.

_Author's note: I took the summary from the back of One Piece, Vol. 1, with a few changes._

**As a child, Monkey D. Luffy was inspired to become a pirate by listening to the tales of the buccaneer "Red-Haired" Shanks. But his life changed when Luffy accidentally ate the fruit of the Gomu-Gomu Tree, and gained the power to stretch like rubber ...at the cost of never being able to swim again! Years later, still vowing to become the king of the pirates, Luffy sets out on his adventure...one guy alone in a rowboat, in search of the legendary "One Piece," said to be the greatest treasure in the world...**

"...Somehow that doesn't sound too exciting..." Hobbes said.

"I know," Calvin grumbled, "The stupid editors didn't give a good enough summary. See, later on, Luffy gets a whole crew. The members are Roronoa Zoro, the 1st mate, Nami, the navigator, Usopp, the marksman, Sanji, the cook, Tony Tony Chopper, the doctor, Nico Robin, the archaeologist (go figure why they'd need one of those), Franky, the shipwright, and Brook, the musician. They go on all sorts of crazy adventures in search of One Piece ... the search that the editors also didn't describe well enough."

"Yeah, how would getting One Piece make Luffy 'King of the Pirates'?"

Calvin cleared his throat, then, attempting a deep voice, said...

"Wealth, fame, power: Gold Roger, the King of the Pirates, obtained this and everything else the world had to offer, and his dying words drove countless souls to the sea. 'You want my treasure? You can have it! I left everything I gathered together in one place! Now you just have to find it!' These words lured men to the Grand Line in pursuit of dreams greater than they'd ever dared to imagine! This is the time known as the Great Pirate Era!"

Hobbes gave a satisfied grin. "Now THAT'S better!" he said.

Calvin then headed toward the closet. "I've been reading all the chapters so far," he said, "and watched all the cartoon episodes that have been broadcast so far. Now I intend to meet that crew." He then started pulling out a certain cardboard box...

"Uh-oh," Hobbes murmured.

_Alright, folks, I'm trying to do this whole thing over again. I'd posted this elsewhere in the Calvin and Hobbes section, and now I'm gonna try again, but better. Lemme know what you guys think._


	2. Calvin & Hobbes Meet the Straw Hats

**_I don't own Calvin, Hobbes, One Piece, or anyone/thing related. Bill Watterson owns Calvin and Hobbes, Eiichiro Oda owns One Piece, _****_and Jhonen Vasquez owns Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee!, and Invader Zim, and all related_****_ characters and place(s)._**

As Calvin pulled the box out, he had the open side facing up. That was the Time Machine mode. "If One Piece takes place in the Age of Piracy," he explained, "then that means it's in the past, so we'd better get there by Time Machine."

"Whaddaya mean 'we'?" Hobbes asked, "I'm not getting in that thing!"

Calvin looked at his friend. "Fine, killjoy," he mused, "but that means you won't get any fish."

This got Hobbes' attention. "Fish?"

"Yeah," Calvin replied, "The One Piece world is almost covered in sea, and where there's sea, there's fish."

There was a short pause. "Lemme in," Hobbes finally said, breaking the silence and getting in.

"Good," Calvin said, "Now put your goggles on." He and Hobbes put them on, and they got ready to go.

"OK," Calvin said, getting ready, "Here...we...GOOOOOO!"

**ZAAAAAAP!**

* * *

When the friends landed, they found themselves behind a cylindrical building. They got out of the box and slowly went around the corner...

They found they were in an old-fashioned-looking town. There were people walking through, but not many.

"Not a very well-populated town..." Calvin said.

"Alright, we're here," Hobbes said, "Now what?"

"Well," Calvin decided, "we'd better find the Straw Hat Pirates. They're the main protagonists, the heroes."

"Will they be in a place that's surrounded by people?" Hobbes asked, looking to his right.

"They should be," Calvin confirmed, "They're known for starting things, even when they don't try.

"Then I think we better start over there," Hobbes said, pointing in the direction he was looking.

Calvin looked where his friend was pointing and found out why there didn't seem to be that many people walking around.

A large crowd of people seemed to be gathered around a bar, looking in. This made the friends curious, and they ran toward the bar, though others simply saw a blond, spiky-haired 6-year-old running toward the bar with a stuffed tiger in tow.

When they got inside, they found out what all the hubbub was about. An apparently 17-year-old boy wearing a red vest, a pair of blue jean shorts, and a straw hat was stuffing his face as though he hadn't eaten in a while!

Calvin and Hobbes stared wide-eyed at the boy, and then noticed another group of people nearby; a very embarrassed-looking group (at least most of the group looked embarrassed).

There was a tall, muscular man, looked about 20, that was...snoozing? He had green, spiky hair, though not as spiky as Calvin's, and he was wearing a green japanese sash, a tight white shirt, some dark green slacks, and a pair of what looked like combat boots. There seemed to be three swords strapped to the man's hip.

Another person in the group was a young lady who looked about 18. She had short, orange hair, and was wearing a black shirt with the word "MONEY" printed in yellow across the chest and a pair of jean short shorts. This woman got Hobbes' full attention, and the tiger seemed to be in a trance. Calvin rolled his eyes at his friend before turning back to the group.

There was a man with blond hair, the bangs covering one of his eyes. His other eye was left exposed, and Calvin noticed something weird about the eyebrow; the far left side was curled into a spiral! The man had a classy outfit on, similar to a tuxedo, only where the white should've been, there was blue with black pinstripes. One last thing about the man caught Calvin's eye: he was smoking a cigarette. Calvin knew this couldn't be good for the guy; he had found out the hard way one time that cigarettes were bad for you.

The fourth person was quite a sight! He was a strange-looking guy with a spiky-looking chin, blue hair that had long bags that stood up, and-- Was this man's nose metallic? Yes, it was! The man was also wearing small sunglasses, concealing his eyes, though you could still tell he was embarrassed. Calvin also noticed that the man was also wearing a hawaiian shirt and--GACK!--a speedo!? Calvin winced. That was just nasty! Good thing Hobbes didn't see that, or he would've thrown up!

The fifth person was even more unusual! He didn't even look alive! He was literally a skeleton! He was wearing a fancy, old-fashioned tuxedo and a tall, thin top-hat sitting atop a large...afro? This man was laughing, and what an odd laugh: "Yohohohohoho!"

The sixth and final person didn't look embarrassed at all. It was a woman who looked about 28 or maybe 30. She had what many would consider "a good figure", long black hair, calm eyes, and a pleasant smile on her face. She was smiling at the boy's childishness. Hobbes now gave half of his attention to the orange-haired girl and the other half to this woman.

Now the boy in the straw hat was FINALLY finished eating! He turned around, patting his belly. "Aah, that was great!" the boy laughed.

Calvin now got a good look at the boy's face ... and recognized it! He quickly whipped the One Piece book out of a backpack he had taken with and looked at the cover. Sure enough, there was the boy's face! It was Monkey D. Luffy himself!

Calvin was excited! "Hobbes!" he exclaimed excitedly to his friend, snapping the tiger out of his trance, "Do you know who those guys are!?"

Hobbes looked at the cover of Calvin's book, then at the group in front of them. He realized what Calvin was talking about! "Oh!" the tiger said, "THOSE are the Straw Ha--!" Calvin quickly covered the tiger's muzzle before he could finish.

"SHHSHHSHHSHHshhshh!" Calvin hissed, "They're wanted men and women, Hobbes! If you said who they were out here, the Marines would be on them like flies on a horse! They're no match for the Straw Hats, of course, but we'd better save Luffy and his friends the trouble. "

"Good point," Hobbes whispered, "Sorry."

"Now just follow my lead," Calvin said.

Hobbes furrowed his brow a bit. "Whenever I do that," he said, "we get in trouble."

Calvin glared at him. "Just do it." Calvin growled.

The two then walked up to the counter and jumped in some chairs to Luffy's left, Calvin sitting between Hobbes and Luffy. The crowd had subsided, and the bartender's shift was over, so it was safe to speak.

"Monkey D. Luffy," Calvin said, "I heard a lot about you!"

The green-haired one woke up, opening one eye, and the skeleton stopped laughing. Luffy gave the boy a confused look, as did his company. "Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Calvin, and this is Hobbes." He pointed to his friend, sitting behind him.

"...Hello..." Hobbes said, still dazed and staring at the women, though only Calvin saw and heard him (of course). All the Straw Hats saw was a plush tiger "teddy".

Luffy grinned. "Great to meetcha!" he said. He then pointed to the group behind him. "You know who they are, right?"

Calvin nodded and pointed at each one as he mentioned them. The green-headed sleeper: Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro. The orange-head woman: Cat-Burglar Nami. The blond-headed smoker: Black-Leg Sanji. The speedo-wearer: Cyborg Franky, or Cutty Flam. The laughing skeleton: Dead Bones Brook. Finally, the black-haired woman: Devil Child Nico Robin.

The crew didn't seem surprised. Then again, they WERE wanted people; they all got wanted posters after the incident at Enies Lobby.

"I think there are others," Calvin said, looking around, "Where are they?" He would've said the two others' names, but one of them did NOT have a poster, and that would've led to the Straw Hats asking how he knew about that one. Calvin didn't want the Straw Hats to know that they didn't exist in the world he came from; they would've lost it, he thought.

"You mean Usopp and Chopper?" Luffy asked, "They're back on Thousand Sunny."

"Thousand what?" Hobbes asked, though, again, only Calvin heard him.

"Can we see it?" Calvin asked.

"Sure," Luffy said without thinking.

**BONK!** He was punched squarely on the back of the head by Nami and Franky (and kicked by Sanji). "**Think** before you invite people!" they yelled.

But before anything else could be said by anybody...

**BANG!**

Everyone looked in the direction of the doorway. Someone had kicked the door off its hinges! That someone was very tall, with red spiky hair and red eyes. He was wearing a black trench coat with the sleeves ripped off, revealing the sleeves of a black shirt he was wearing underneath the coat. He used a pair of red eyes to look at Luffy.

"I found you, Straw Hat."


	3. Enter Basilisk! Calvin's New Power

**_I don't own Calvin, Hobbes, One Piece, or anyone/thing related. Bill Watterson owns Calvin and Hobbes, Eiichiro Oda owns One Piece, _****_and Jhonen Vasquez owns Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee!, and Invader Zim, and all related_****_ characters and place(s)._**

_This time, readers, I'm gonna make some more noticeable changes, as you'll see in this chapter. Enjoy!_

Everyone in the bar watched as the man walked up to Luffy. Calvin and Hobbes backed away a bit, nervously.

Zoro grabbed the hilt of his first sword, Wadou. "What do you want with Luffy?" he asked.

The man looked at the swordsman. "It's not just Luffy I want to deal with," he replied.

"It's him..." someone sitting near Calvin whispered.

The 6-year-old looked at the man. "Who?" he asked, "Who IS that guy?"

The bargoer looked at the boy.

"That, my boy," he answered, "is Basilisk the Snake. He is famous for making whole pirate crews his."

Calvin's eyes widened. "And he wants the Straw Hats, doesn't he!?"

All the Straw Hats got into their ready-to-fight positions. Calvin and Hobbes decided to move a few seats away, where it was safe.

Calvin noticed a weird fruit, sitting in a box on the counter, in front of where he was sitting now. The boy's eyes widened; it was a Devil Fruit!

He knew what happened to someone who ate a Devil Fruit; they'd gain powers at the cost of never being able to swim again, and swimming was an ability that Calvin didn't want. After all, his swimming class was taught by Rosalyn, his baby sitter and the only person he actually feared. This would make an excellent excuse not to go to those stupid lessons, plus, he thought, he'd get power!

He picked up the fruit and bit into it. UGH! It tasted awful! Worse than what his mom made, in his opinion. But he didn't spit it out; he wanted those powers. Even if he didn't, it was too late to spit it out now; he had swallowed the piece he bit out of the fruit. Calvin dropped the half-eaten fruit on the ground and held his stomach. He felt weird. Not sick-weird, though. Something was happening inside his body, and Calvin knew what it was: he was getting a new power...

"I've heard of what you've done, Straw Hats!" Basilisk said, "Declaring war with the World Government--even challenging the headquarters head-on, in your captain's case--and having the strength to stand up to it all. You're the kind of people I need in my ever-growing crew, and I **will** have you in my crew."

"Or what?" Luffy asked.

"Or I kill your other two crewmates," Basilisk answered coldly.

"**What!?**" the Straw Hats asked in shock.

"That's right. My men have already infiltrated the ship and are holding your marksman at gunpoint. As for your **pet**..." Here, Basilisk smirked. "...we've already bound him with Sea Prism Stone ropes. You know how that weakens Devil Fruit users."

Franky would've charged and pummeled him if Zoro and Sanji didn't hold him back.

"**HOWEVER!**" Basilisk suddenly shouted, making many in the bar jump, "...I'll make you a deal: defeat me in battle, and you can go free. But if you lose... Well, I think you get it. Follow me outside." He then turned and walked out the door, leaving the Straw Hats to think of their next move.

"Crap-ass," Sanji growled.

Franky cracked his knuckles. "Oh, I can beat him, alright."

Zoro turned to Luffy. "What do you think, Captain?"

Luffy slammed his fist into his palm, looking sternly at the door Basilisk just walked through. "Let's do it."

With that, the Straw Hat Pirates walked out of the bar and through the door.

"C'mon, Hobbes!" Calvin said excitedly, jumping off the stool to follow the pirates, "I don't wanna miss this!"

"Coming!" Hobbes said, and he got out of his chair to follow Calvin. But he stopped. Something wasn't right. Everyone in the bar was staring at him! Mouths agape, no less!

Calvin turned around, wondering what was taking his friend so long. He saw all the people staring at the tiger. "WHAT!?" Calvin asked, "Haven't you people seen a tiger before!?"

Now everyone turned their gazes to him! Then someone shouted, "Hey! Who ate this fruit!?"

Everyone looked at the direction of the shouting. Sure enough, there was the Devil Fruit, half-eaten and lying on the ground. Everyone then looked at Calvin, who now looked at the bargoers nervously. "Uh, yeah, **I** ate a fruit," Calvin replied, "I wanted whatever powers it gave me."

The man who had shouted earlier ran up to Calvin and forced him to look him straight in the eyes. "That was the Mind-Mind Fruit!" the man said angrily, "A Devil Fruit! Sure, it makes everyone see what you see, like your **formerly** stuffed tiger as a real one..."

"Hey!" Hobbes said, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"**...but you'll never be able to swim for the rest of your life!**"

"I know that!" Calvin replied, "If I wanted to be able to swim, I would've left the fruit alone! And what do you mean Hobbes was '**formerly** stuffed'?"

The man sighed. "Son," he said, "your tiger friend was stuffed--a plush, like a teddy bear--before you ate that Devil Fruit...and now...he's not."

Calvin looked at the man with wide eyes, then over at Hobbes. "...This would explain why **I** was always blamed..." he murmured. Then, to the man, he said aloud, "So you're telling me that before I ate that, uh...Mind-Mind Fruit...Hobbes was just a **toy!?**"

"That's what **we** saw," the man confirmed.

"...That's so **cool!**" Calvin said excitedly, "So, if I imagined myself as a 200-foot-tall slug, I'd turn into one!?"

Everyone in the bar sweatdropped, except for Hobbes, who just looked disgusted. "You're taking this pretty well, aren't you?" the man asked.

* * *

"C'mon, Hobbes!" Calvin said as he and Hobbes ran out of the bar, "I'm **not** gonna miss seeing the Straw Hats in action!"

As he and Hobbes ran toward the town square, many people were staring at Hobbes or running away.

Hobbes noticed this. "Calvin," Hobbes said uneasily, "I'm not sure I like this new power of yours."

"Oh, c'mon, Hobbes!" Calvin shouted back to his friend, "This is gonna be cool! I promise!"

Hobbes took Calvin's word for it, and followed him to the town square, where the Straw Hats were getting ready to battle Basilisk, who looked surprisingly confident, considering he was facing 9 strong pirates.

Yes, 9 pirates. 2 others had just arrived, and, though normally they'd be plenty more than hesitant, they seemed ready for this battle. Calvin noticed this. He saw a skinny fella with a long nose, clownish lips (which made Calvin snicker a bit), and curly black hair. The guy was wearing a doo-rag and overalls. He seemed to be holding a BIG slingshot in one hand and a purse-like bag in the other. Calvin recognized this as Usopp, the marksman. He was sweating and trembling like crazy, but Calvin could tell Usopp was NOT ready to lose to that man, Basilisk!

Next to Usopp was a relatively small caribou with a blue nose, a big, pink, fluffy hat with a couple of bandages shaped like an "x" on the front. The reindeer was also wearing a blue knapsack, which also bore an "x". Calvin recognized this critter, too. It was Tony Tony Chopper, the doctor, in his Walk Point.

Calvin guessed that these two were being let go to fight in this battle, though he saw some men with guns surrounding the battlefield. The boy had a feeling these guys were making sure Usopp and Chopper didn't run off.

Calvin and Hobbes waited intently for the battle to get started. They couldn't **wait** to see the Straw Hats fight in real life!

_So, whaddaya think? How am I doing so far? Please review, unless you just skipped to the bottom of the page for whatever reason, in which case I'd like you to read the story first. Thank you. :)_


	4. Hostage! Basilisk's Cowardice Revealed

**_I don't own Calvin & Hobbes, One Piece, JTHM, Squee!, Invader Zim, or anyone/thing related. Bill Watterson owns Calvin and Hobbes, Eiichiro Oda owns One Piece, _****_and Jhonen Vasquez owns Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee!, and Invader Zim, and all related_****_ characters and place(s)._**

There was an anxious silence as everyone waited for either the lone pirate or the crew of pirates to start. Calvin and Hobbes were getting the most anxious.

Basilisk grinned as he glanced over at Brook. "So you're Dead Bones Brook, are you?" he asked, "Wonderful. I will truly be a feared captain once **you're** in my crew! I must have the Straw Hats!"

"How will he stand a chance against them, anyway?" thought Calvin.

His question was soon answered, for much to everyone's surprise, Basilisk _turned into a gigantic grey snake!_

Calvin and Hobbes' eyes widened. "Oh," Calvin thought, "That's how."

Needless to say, the Straw Hats were surprised as well. "OOH-HOO-HOO-HOO!" Luffy shouted excitedly, "AWESOME! A GIANT SNAKE!"

"This is the power that my Zoan Devil Fruit granted me," Basilisk explained, "The Snake Snake Fruit: Model Black Mamba."

He then lunged at the pirates, crashing into the ground. Fortunately, the Straw Hats jumped out of the way. All the people of the town ran away to a safe haven.

"Alright, guys!" Luffy shouted, "GET HIM!" That being said, he unleashed one of his more powerful moves. "Gum Gum PISTOL!" He sent his fist flying at Basilisk, who dodged by tilting to the side. Luffy tried again with his other fist, but Basilisk dodged again.

"Raven Hunt!" Zoro jumped into the air, behind Basilisk's head, and performed a flying multiple slash technique, getting in some slashes to the head and causing the Zoan-user to roar in pain. However, Basilisk quickly retaliated by turning around and lunging at the Straw Hat's first mate. He missed Zoro, but he got a nearby building, and when he let go, a strange substance was dripping...and eating away at the walls, floors, etc.!

Usopp's eyes bugged out at the sight of that, and he screamed, "HOLY CRAP! That's some lethal venom!"

"What I'm wondering," Zoro said, "is how he turned around so fast!"

"That's the beauty of the Snake Snake Fruits," Basilisk answered, "They allow you lightning-fast reflexes no matter how big you are!"

As Calvin and Hobbes watched the battle continue, Hobbes had a question for his human friend. "Um, Calvin, what did that Basilisk guy mean by 'Zoan Devil Fruit'?"

"Well," Calvin explained, "I read that there are three kinds of Devil Fruits: Paramecia, Zoan, and Logia. Zoan allows you to turn into an animal (or turn an animal into a human, in the Human Human Fruit's case), Logia allows you to manipulate or even turn into a certain substance like fire or sand, and Paramecia? That's pretty much everything else.

"Luffy's got a Paramecia Fruit: the Gum Gum Fruit. That allows him to stretch like rubber. Brook and Robin also have Paramecias. Robin's is the Flower Flower Fruit, which allows her to sprout body parts from anywhere, usually her arms. Brook's is the Revive Revive Fruit. That one didn't do anything at first, but when he died, he was allowed to come back to life! Unfortunately, he couldn't find his body before the flesh rotted away, exposing the bones. Finally, Chopper has the Zoan Fruit called the Human Human Fruit. He was once a normal reindeer, except for his blue nose, but he became part human when he ate the fruit."

"Uh-huh..." Hobbes muttered, stunned, "That's...bizarre."

Meanwhile, the Straw Hats were fighting back diligently. Luffy used his incredible strength and ability to stretch; Zoro used his three-sword style, Santoryu; Nami used her Clima-Tact staff, controlling the weather around her; Usopp used his arsenal of weapons, including the different kinds of ammo for his slingshot Kabuto; Sanji was using his own strength, trying to kick Basilisk in different places; Chopper kept transforming and using his seven forms, thanks to the Rumble Ball; Robin used her Flower Flower Fruit powers in different ways; Franky used his built-in cyborg weapons (Calvin was sure to explain this to Hobbes); and Brook used his skills as a swordsman. In spite of it all, it didn't seem to be enough. Despite his incredible size as a snake, Basilisk was FAST!

Sanji jumped high into the air and tried to land a kick on the back of Basilisk's head.

"Soru," was the word that came out of the Zoan-user's mouth.

With that, he suddenly disappeared!

"Wh-What!?" Sanji stuttered.

Basilisk suddenly reappeared behind him.

"Look out!" Franky yelled, "Strong Right!" He launched his right fist at Basilisk's head, who only dodged once again.

"Damn," the snake muttered, "I **was** hoping to strike at the cook."

"H-How did Basilisk dodge out of the way like that!?" Hobbes asked, quite alarmed.

"Soru," Calvin answered, "It's a technique that you use to dodge an attack. It seems like you're teleporting when you use it."

Hobbes looked on worriedly. This man Basilisk was giving the Straw Hat Pirates a run for their money! Soon, the snake-man had knocked all the pirates down for the count.

"Heh heh heh heh... Give up, Straw Hats," Basilisk said with a sinister grin, "I'm invincible."

**SLAM!**

The snake looked at the source of the sound. Luffy was standing with one fist to the ground, and his skin was pink, shining, and steaming. He was using Gear Second.

"Soru," Luffy muttered, then he disappeared.

Everyone looked around for Luffy, to no avail. Then the Straw Hat captain appeared behind Basilisk's head and sent to it a quick, powerful, stretched punch! "**Gum Gum Jet Pistol!**"

Hobbes' eyes widened, and Calvin grinned, rubbing his hands together like some mad scientist. "Oh, yeah," he said, "Did I forget to mention that Luffy also knew Soru?"

Soon, the tables turned with Luffy getting the upper hand on Basilisk, and the snake-man knew it. He knew the tables had turned. He had to do something; he'd wanted to pillage this town, too.

Then he saw Calvin standing there, with...a tiger? Standing on its hind legs? _Must be another Zoan-user,_ he thought. To make sure he wasn't a guardian or something of this boy, he rammed Hobbes out of the way, went into human form, and grabbed Calvin by the neck!

"Nobody move," yelled Basilisk, "or the boy dies...and knowing you, Straw Hats, you wouldn't want to be responsible for the loss of an innocent life, now would you?"

The pirates froze; he was right.

"Calvin!" Hobbes shouted, but before he could do anything, he and Basilisk noticed something forming on Calvin's body, and his head. It was a hat and trenchcoat, and there was something else forming in Calvin's hand, out of the snake's view.

That something was a pistol!

Gritting his teeth, Calvin aimed the pistol and fired it at Basilisk's foot, causing the Zoan fruit-user to let go of Calvin and hop up and down in pain. Hobbes and the Straw Hats stared at the boy in shock.

Calvin turned to the Straw Hats. "It was a tough case," he said, "but you don't hire Tracer Bullet for the easy ones."

_Sorry, I'm not good at writing fight scenes. :( I also apologize for taking so long; I'm easily distracted, and the fact that I got the first game of the series Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse didn't help. DX I'm really sorry!_


	5. Pirate Fun! Hop Aboard Thousand Sunny!

**_I don't own Calvin & Hobbes, One Piece, JTHM, Squee!, Invader Zim, or anyone/thing related. Bill Watterson owns Calvin and Hobbes, Eiichiro Oda owns One Piece, _****_and Jhonen Vasquez owns Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee!, and Invader Zim, and all related_****_ characters and place(s)._**

"THAT'S SO COOL~!"

Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper were obviously impressed by Calvin's new Devil Fruit power. The other Straw Hat Pirates were amazed themselves!

Calvin suddenly reverted back to his normal form_, _looking quite proud of himself. "Boy, am I glad I ate that Devil Fruit."

_But first thing's first,_ he thought, _The Straw Hats have to beat Basilisk._

But when Calvin turned back to Basilisk, he was gone!

"Lookin' for me?" a voice hissed.

Poor Calvin nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the voice! There was Basilisk! He turned to face the snake-man...and he was literally a snake-man now. He now looked like a centaur, only with a snake body instead of a horse's.

"Like it?" asked Basilisk, "This is my Echidna Point! It allows me even greater speed!" But before he could attack...

**YOOWW!**

Hobbes pounced at the snake-man, who Soru'd out of the way. Hobbes may have missed, but he still managed to surprise everyone!

"Whoa, who **is** that?" Luffy asked Calvin about Hobbes, "Did he eat a Zoan fruit?"

Calvin looked at Luffy, then back at his friend (who was now standing there and glaring at Basilisk), then again at Luffy and shook his head. "No... Apparently, according to that one guy in the bar, he used to be a stuffed animal, a plush animal, but he came to life when I ate the Mind Mind Fruit."

"WHAT?" Luffy said, staring wide eyed at Hobbes along with Usopp and Chopper, "No way!"

"Hold _my_ friend hostage, will you?" Hobbes growled at Basilisk, "You're asking for trouble, buster."

"The boy said you were once a plush toy," the Zoan-fruit-user said, "How do you hope to defeat me, then, teddy bear?"

That did it. "Teddy bear? **TEDDY BEAR?**" The tiger was immediately upon Basilisk, who couldn't Soru out of the way fast enough, consequently getting mauled.

**Slash-bite-claw-punch-kick-slash-slash-SLASH!**

Hobbes then got up, wiping some spit from his jaw, and walked away, leaving Basilisk lying there, twitching and scarred. Calvin stared wide-eyed at his friend's handiwork.

"That...was so...cool...!" Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper murmured, completely awestruck.

"Um, Calvin," Hobbes said, uneasily, "people are staring at me again."

"Oh, relax, ya sissy," Calvin said.

Chopper suddenly got uneasy. "Wait, d-does he eat other animals?" he asked.

Hobbes looked at Chopper and smiled. "Why would I wanna eat a cute lil' animal like you?"

Chopper jumped, blushing. "YOU IDIOT, HAHA!" he shouted, smiling and dancing happily, "WHY SHOULD I TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT? STUPID! STUPID!"

Hobbes was a little put off by this. "Uh..."

"Oh, don't worry about it, Hobbes," Calvin chided, "Chopper just doesn't know how to hide his feelings. Now," he then said, turning to Franky, "Would it be too much trouble if I took a look at the Thousand Sunny? That ship's pretty cool."

"'Pretty cool'? 'Pretty cool?'" Franky echoed, grinning, "That ship is the most **super** one I've made!"

* * *

"Whoa, big ship," declared Hobbes.

He and Calvin were staring up at the Thousand Sunny, and Hobbes was right; it WAS huge! They got on deck and looked at their new surroundings. There was grass - with soil to boot - on the deck, and a grove of tangerine trees, too!

"Do my eyes deceive me," Hobbes said with wide eyes, "or are we standing on a lawn **on a ship?**"

"Better believe it, Hobbes," Calvin said, grinning, "That's just **one** reason this ship's so different from others! The figurehead is also a cannon, there's a bunch of little boats inside the ship, including a submarine, and this ship even has a rocket called 'Coup de Burst'!"

"...Wow," Hobbes mumbled, apparently very, very surprised by all this, "When, uh...Franky, right? When Franky said this ship was super, he wasn't kidding!"

Then Usopp ran up. "By the way, Calvin," he asked, "what else can you do now?"

Calvin glanced over at Sanji, who was simply passing by. "Let's see..." Calvin said, a mischievous look on his face. He held his arms over his head. "Ka...ZAM!" He threw his arms in the cook's direction and turned him into an alien!

Needless to say, Sanji wasn't pleased. "Oi!" he yelled, "Change me back!"

Calvin's grin turned to a look of anger. "Ask me nice," Calvin snapped.

Sanji's prompt reply was grabbing the boy's collar.

Calvin was reminded of Sanji's fighting ability, so he timidly squeaked an "OK" and turned Sanji back into a human.

The boy then turned to Usopp. "Hey," he asked, "you got a box or anything?"

Usopp looked over at some nearby barrels. "What about those?"

Calvin shrugged. "Good enough." He climbed into one of the barrels and a flash of light came out. "Get ready!" he shouted. What came out of the barrel was not a 6-year-old human, but a miniature version of Hobbes, much to Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper's amazement, of course.

Calvin the Tiger looked down at his new form. "I am gonna LOVE this new power!" he exclaimed, "Wait'll Mom and Dad see this..."

Calvin's eyes widened. "Wait, MOM AND DAD! **THEY'LL BE HOME ANY MINUTE!**"

_Finally! I'm so sorry for the long wait; I really have NO excuse this time! D8 I'm also sorry I kept the chapter so short and rushed-looking... Well, lemme know how I'm doin'! R&R!_


	6. Susie Appears? Calvin Tries to Go Home

**_I don't own Calvin & Hobbes, One Piece, JTHM, Squee!, Invader Zim, or anyone/thing related. Bill Watterson owns Calvin and Hobbes, Eiichiro Oda owns One Piece, _****_and Jhonen Vasquez owns Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee!, and Invader Zim, and all related_****_ characters and place(s)._**

___Sorry for the long wait, folks! T.T I hope no one's lost interest in this story; it's not over yet, after all!_

_Also, thanks to Dr. Dude for suggesting the plot here!_

"My parents!" Calvin shouted, "They're gonna kill me if they don't find me in my room!"

Calvin went back under the barrel and transformed back into a kid.

"What should we do?" asked Hobbes, "We left the cardboard box back at the last island we came to."

This was met with confusion from the other Straw Hats.

Calvin got out of the barrel and thought about this for a while, then his eyes lit up. "OK," he said, "Someone help me flip the barrel so the opening is on top!"

Usopp and Chopper did. "What are you planning to do?" asked Chopper.

"Well, when I had the box from back home in the same position," Calvin answered, "I was able to travel through time and space. That's how I got here."

"WHA- REALLY?" Luffy asked, obviously amazed.

"Yeah," Calvin answered, "Now all I gotta do..." Now he started climbing into the barrel. "...is (Oomph) use THIS (Unngh!) the same way! (Whew!)" By now he had made it to the lip, and jumped in. But when he looked up, he was in for a bit of a nasty surprise. How was he gonna get home if he wasn't able to see where he was going? He could only see the sky!

Calvin sighed, "Hoo boy. This won't be easy, after all. You've got a saw, right, Franky?"

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Calvin's world and time, a young girl about Calvin's age with chestnut brown hair, wearing a yellow shirt and green overalls, was walking up to Calvin's house.

This was Susie Derkins. She and Calvin had sort of an "on-off" friendship. Mostly "off". That being said, she normally wouldn't be visiting Calvin - he had, after all, played or attempted to play many cruel pranks on her, not to mention throwing slushballs - but she DID have the occasional urge to visit her "friend".

As she walked up to the door, she noticed a small sticky note. "Gone to Meeting. Back Soon." She knew this was one of Calvin's parents' handwriting.

She rang the doorbell. "Hello!" she shouted, "Anyone home?" ...No answer. She then noticed a cardboard box lying in the bushes near the house. Curious, she walked over and pulled the box out. Didn't she see Calvin playing with this before? Susie rolled her eyes. "I don't see why he'll play pretend with that tiger and this thing," she thought, "and not with me and Mr. Bun."

Well, curiosity got the better of her, and she found herself placing the box on the ground and looking inside it. Suddenly, she lost her balance and fell in. A FLASH OF LIGHT, AND SHE AND THE BOX...vanished without a trace.

* * *

Back on the Thousand Sunny...

"Alright, Hobbes, you ready to go home?" Calvin asked his friend.

"Sort of," he answered, "I'm gonna miss Nami and Robin."

Calvin rolled his eyes. "Anything else?"

The tiger gave a small smile. "Other than that, I'm good."

"OK," Calvin responded, then looked out the hole at everyone else. "Well, it was fun while it lasted! See ya, guys!"

"You think we'll meet again?" Usopp asked.

"You betcha!" Calvin responded, "In fact, the most likely times I'll visit you guys may be whenever I'm grounded. Bye!"

As the Straw Hats bid their friends goodbye, Calvin looked to the wooden controls, made by Franky. It was amazing how much detail he put into the panel itself, as well as the lever. The lever was placed next to some words and letters that Calvin wrote himself (requesting that Franky gave the lever three stops, two of which were the top and bottom of the lever's path). In fact, the words and letters ("Home", "One Piece", and "JTHM") were put next to each stop.

Calvin pulled the lever to "Home", and...

Nothing.

Calvin and Hobbes looked around in confusion, then the boy started frantically switching the lever between "One Piece" and "Home". "Come on, COME ON!" he said through gritted teeth, "Get GOING!"

Still nothing, except for the barrel tipping over, thanks to Calvin frustratedly shaking it back and forth.

Calvin crawled out of the barrel with his animal friend. "Could this day get any worse?" Calvin muttered. Suddenly - FLASH! - a flash of light appeared in front of Calvin. Soon, the flash was gone, and in its place was a very surprised girl in a cardboard box. Everyone's eyes widened, especially Calvin's. Oh no! It was Susie!

Susie noticed Calvin and looked at her surroundings. "WH-WHAT?" Susie asked, clearly startled, "**Calvin?** Where are we? What's going on?"

There was a pause, and Calvin fell on his knees and looked up at the sky. "I DIDN'T MEAN IT!"


	7. A Snowy Day on the Thousand Sunny

**_I don't own Calvin & Hobbes, One Piece, JTHM, Squee!, Invader Zim, or anyone/thing related. Bill Watterson owns Calvin and Hobbes, Eiichiro Oda owns One Piece, _****_and Jhonen Vasquez owns Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee!, and Invader Zim, and all related_****_ characters and place(s)._**

"Catch anything yet?"

"Nope," Luffy answered Hobbes, then yawned wide. Chopper, who was fishing along with Luffy, also yawned.

It was a slow and rather cold day today. As already mentioned, Luffy and Chopper were fishing. Hobbes was reclined on the deck, snoozing. Sanji was in the kitchen, preparing lunch. Zoro was also sleeping, but against the mast. Nami was reading the newspaper along with Susie, though Susie was reading the comics. Usopp was in the Crow's Nest, keeping an eye out for any islands. Robin was on a reclining chair, reading a history book. Franky was below deck, making repairs to the ship and docks. Brook was also in the kitchen, sippin' tea. And Calvin, unable to find anything to do, wandered around the ship.

He found Hobbes snoozing. For some reason, whenever he saw Hobbes sleeping, a poem would come into his head. And now he opened his mouth and out came a new one.

**_A tiger snoozing on the ground._**

**_For whatever reason, it seems quite profound._**

**_The wondrous colors of white, black, and red._**

**_...What on earth's wrong with my eyes and my head?_**

Calvin looked around and noticed that everyone there was staring at him.

"Did you come up with that yourself?" asked Robin, "That was good."

Calvin smiled. "Thanks. For some reason, whenever I look at the sleeping tiger, I suddenly think of a poem."

Susie turned to Nami. "By the way, since you're the navigator, shouldn't you be in the Crow's Nest?"

"I'm the navigator, not the lookout," Nami replied.

Susie arched her eyebrow. "But Usopp isn't the lookout either. He's the marksman."

Before Nami could respond, Chopper shouted, "Guys, look!"

Luffy turned to Chopper. "What? Did you see a big fish?"

"No, look!" the reindeer replied, pointing upwards, "Snow!"

Sure enough, there were snowflakes falling from the sky, drifting down onto the Thousand Sunny and its crew and passengers.

"Oh, great! Snow!" Calvin said excitedly, then said proudly to the others, "Watch me amaze you with my snow-born art!" With that, he dashed into the Men's Quarters to get some winter gear. He was followed by the other male members of the crew, then Hobbes, and at the same time, the female members, along with Susie, went into their quarters to get their own winter gear. Susie got her coat and such at an island that the Straw Hats stopped at.

Calvin rushed out before the others, ecstatic at the new ideas he had for snow sculptures.

Hobbes, wearing nothing but a scarf (because that was all he needed), explained something to Usopp, Chopper, and Brook: "Wait for the others to describe the snow sculptures Calvin makes; he has been known to actually **scare** people with them."

Needless to say, this confused the three...until Luffy went to the upper deck.

"Gah! There's a weird snow-giant hanging onto Sunny!"

"**Huh?**" Usopp, Chopper, and Brook walked up the stairs, and they jumped when they saw an ENORMOUS HEAD MADE OF SNOW on one side of the ship. On each side of that head was a set of four large, snow-made fingers.

Calvin popped up from behind the snow giant's head. "How do you like it?" he asked, "I was already a regular Rembrandt when it comes to snow sculptures! My new Devil Fruit powers are only helping!"

"Ahahahaha! That's really good!" Usopp laughed, though he was obviously scared (his knees were knocking). His true pride showed, however, when he said, "Still, I'd like to see you make something beautiful, like one of my sculptures! Wait here; I'll show you what I mean." With that, the long-nosed marksman rushed downstairs.

Calvin hopped off of his snow-giant to follow Usopp. The marksman was making his own snow-sculpture. After a few minutes, he was done.

"Ta-da~! The beautiful Queen of the Snow!" Usopp announced, presenting a dainty-looking, well-sculpted lady sitting on a pedestal.

"Ooh!" Calvin, Hobbes, and Susie exclaimed at Usopp's handiwork.

"Oh yeah?" Luffy said, "Check this out! **Super Snowman**!" The captain then presented a very shoddily-made snowman.

"What the? Luffy, I can't tell that snowman's eyes from his nose!" Calvin remarked.

Luffy stuck out his tongue at him. "Well at least he can fight! **Snowman Punch!**" Here, Luffy took the stick that was meant to be one of the snowman's arms and launched it at Usopp's sculpture, ruining it and pissing Usopp off.

"Dammit, Luffy, not again!" Usopp yelled, launching a snowball at Luffy's snowman.

This started a snowball fight, and Hobbes looked at Calvin and told him, "No slushballs, OK?"

"Alright, alright!" Calvin replied, annoyed. With that, he and Hobbes joined the snowball fight, tossing snowballs at Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, and each other, and ducking behind crates and barrels to avoid incoming fire.

* * *

**_Aaand I've got nothing else for this chapter. Friggin' writer's block... Hopefully I'll have new ideas for next chapter. See ya then!_**


	8. NEED HELP, PLEASE!

**_I don't own Calvin & Hobbes, One Piece, JTHM, Squee!, Invader Zim, or anyone/thing related. Bill Watterson owns Calvin and Hobbes, Eiichiro Oda owns One Piece, _****_and Jhonen Vasquez owns Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee!, and Invader Zim, and all related_****_ characters and place(s)._**

* * *

_I have a problem, guys... I don't know what to do for the next chapter. I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long for...THIS...but I'm in a serious writer's block right now, and I need your help! Do you guys have any suggestions?_


	9. Apology: I Can't Do It Anymore : (

I'm sorry, everyone. I've given up on this story. : (

See, I have no confidence in keeping Calvin and Hobbes and the other characters from their comics...in character. Besides, there are several other things in my life that eat up my attention, including my two other fics.

Again, I'm really, really sorry. I invite others to try to do it right, though...


End file.
